Facebook: Stop Telling Me How to Feel About the Boston Bomber

I knew this would happen. It’s not been but a week since the bombing and we are all trying to wrap our heads around it. The sting of vulnerability is fresh in our hearts, and the woulds of the victims have far from healed. Many of them are still in the hospital dealing with the loss of their body parts and wondering if they were ever truly feel safe again. And here, from the safety of the internet, we’re arguing with each other about the proper way to feel about the bombing.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it. Please stop telling me how to feel about the bombing!

Stop trying to convince me he was just a kid. Stop telling me he was just an innocent bystander. Stop making him out to seem like the devil himself.  Stop trying to convince me how I should or should not feel. Stop trying to make me feel guilty for my feelings. Just stop.

I don’t have a clue why this person who seemed reasonably normal to all of his friends did this. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people. I don’t know why people hurt and kill other people. I don’t know. I don’t want to know. And I sure as hell don’t want to be told that after a week I am supposed to have figured it all out.

I know you’re well-meaning. We are all well-meaning. We want to move forward and to do so we feel we need to figure out why this happen–to compartmentalize it. But frankly I think we should let the immediate victims have a little time to figure out how they feel about the attack that they so closely felt before we, the by standers, start shoving our  opinions down each other’s throats and battling with one another over how we should or should not feel.

If someone is angry, let them be angry. If someone is sad, let them cry. If someone is scared, don’t tell them not to be. If someone is too worn out and doesn’t want to discuss it anymore, let them change the subject.

Let everyone mourn and process this whole ugly thing in the way they seem fit. There is no one right way to grieve.


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