I have decided to wean myself on to blogging again by making a goal to post something, no matter how small or insignificant, every day, besides Shabbos. My life is very busy with four kids home with me all day, so I will likely miss some days.
It’s been almost a full year since I really blogged and I’ve decided that taking a year off was the right thing to do for myself. I need that time for inner reflection–the sort of reflection which can’t be strung into coherent writing, but are more just strings of random words. Words such as, but not limited to: hope, discovery, fear, dreaming, inner peace, journey, foundation. None of which were yet ready to be written into sentences or stories.
I feel like I have grown as a person a lot this year. That said, a side effect of it is that in a lot of ways I was running away by not blogging. Because I didn’t no how to tackle difficulties with words (something that has never happened to me before)I just clammed up. The side effect has been that I now find it hard to be open again. Not as in sharing every detail of myself with the general public, open, but as in letting people in. I think by cutting myself off on writing I somehow cut myself off from personal relationships too. I think it’s time to move forward. I want to be real with myself and other again, without fear. Or at the very least, with fear but with pride also.
So here is my insignificant blog post of the day. Coming from a person who used to post several times a day, you wouldn’t think this would be so challenging, but it was. My posts may not be terribly interesting at the beginning, but they are for my own benefit and I have hope that it will evolve into something I can be proud of once again.