Recently, somewhere on the internet, there was some test going around proving that most extroverts were really just introverts at heart, overcompensating for their shyness. This amused me as much as the BMI chart which states that most humans are overweight. To which I must ask, perhaps the charts are just under estimating how large the average human should be.
Why do people even want to follow charts and graphs and other expectations placed on us by unknown parties? We talk about not labeling our children, but we put so much work into labeling ourselves. Skinny, chubby, book-smart, socially awkward, introverted…
I find myself measuring up myself as I look in the mirror. I wonder if this outfit makes me look smart. I wonder if these glasses make me seem careless. Are these the eye brows of a mother of four? These are not the same hips I had when I was 18. Do people see the punk rawker with a little dash of Winehouse in me? Should I try to keep my tattoos covered so I don’t freak out the FFBers or should I wear them proudly? Can anyone see the years I spent trying to find myself? Maybe I look like I’m trying to hard. Maybe I’ll never fit in.
The way I figure it is that I’m either an introvert with a serious need to host parties now and again, and tell jokes that make everyone laugh. Or I am an extrovert who needs and inordinate amount of time completely alone and who gets really stressed out by the idea of always being “on”.
Either option makes me feel like I’m trying to live up to a label instead of just living. I don’t like that.