We are in our home now. Less than a mile away from our old apartment and I feel such a sense of relief. Life is just as complicated in every other manner–busy with trying to drum up enough work, being tired and slow from being “with child”, dealing with the icky feelings that come along with the hard parts of being in a close friendship, trying to direct the energies of a toddler who is ALL boy ALL of the time… you know–life. But, the pressure if takes off of me to be in the house verses the apartment feels like a gigantic weight off of my shoulders.
Yesterday I let the kids play outside while I balanced being on the computer for some me-time and watching their hula-hopping contests. Neighbors came by to introduce themselves, we took an evening walk before bed, the kids moved chairs all around the kitchen without me worrying about the neighbors below us complaining… it was a good day! It makes me very aware how stressed I have felt this last year. I can’t help the stresses in life around me–everyone has them every day–but it feels so good to have a home you can truly relax in. I am praying this will help this uptight mommy be a little more gentle and understanding with the kids and not so frantically stressed about every little noise all of the time.
Also the shower here rocks. Like a water fall. I love nothing better than a hot shower the beats the living daylights out of my tired shoulders. Absolute heaven! The little things in life, I’m telling you…
Last but not least, the evening before last I became an aunt–twice over. My brother and his beautiful wife had twins. They were born a little early and have to spend some time in the NICU, so I went to visit all four of them. Instant family of four! I was in love. Every pregnancy-induced motherly instinct in me bubbled to the surface and I wanted to grab both plastic boxes, tubes and all, and make a run for the elevator. It’s hard to see someone so tiny who you love so much in a little box where you can’t hold them. I imagine their mother feels so even more! But she is a tough cookie and given the newness of her status as “mother” probably doesn’t have the irrational hormonal feelings built up that a mother of 12 years does. Really though it was so wonderful to be able to reach my hand into the little incubators and relish in the fact that MY little brother had a part in making those little beautiful creatures! I’m so proud of him!
All in all this was a considerably better week than last and for that I am truly thankful.