What I wish I could tell my younger self.

When I was a kid I had no idea there was any music genre except rap. I was just a product of my environment like that. I memorized all the lyrics to various Tupac and Snoop Dog songs and sang along with the radio. My favorite being the one about a guy who gets around, in which he vividly describes his various sexual encounters–none of which my 11 year old ears understood a word of. I mean I thought I knew, but I so didn’t.Thank God.

I heard this song recently and shook my head at the idea of my pre-teen self singing these rather vulgar lyrics with my friends on the playground and of the dances we made up go along. If only I had known then what I know now! Eek.

Then again, there are so many things I wish I could tell that young girl. So much advice I have for the earlier versions of myself. Though I realize we can’t really know these things until we experience them, I often think about what I’d tell my younger self if I ever had the chance. And lucky you, because I’m sharing a list I compiled of just that!

Learn to depend on yourself because friends come and go, but you will always be stuck with you.

Learn to cook at least one full meal before you get married.

Stay away from people who suck the life out of you.

Try not to suck the life out of other people.

13 is too young to get involved with boys, even if all of your friends are.

If older guys give you attention it isn’t because you’re mature, it’s because you’re an easy target.

Pay attention in history class. It’s with more than all the others combined.

Never keep a shitty friend just because you’re lonely.

Learn to say “fuck you” sooner.

Learn to say “no” sooner.

Learn to speak louder.

Don’t believe you can’t have a good life, regardless of where you came from.

It’s not selfish to put yourself first some of the time.

Being needed is not the same thing as being loved.

There is no fucking way you can possibly understand love. Sorry.

There is no such thing as love at first sight. It’s lust. And that’s fun too. Enjoy it for what it is.

Don’t worry about getting good grades, worry about learning. But try to get good grades too, because for some reason they are really important to other people.

Graduate. Fuck everyone who tries to stand in your way, who eats up your time, who makes feel responsible for them,  and who puts themselves ahead of your right to an education. Make it work. You’re just a kid.

You matter, even if nobody ever tells you that.

You look bad with short bangs.

And with blonde hair.

Your thighs are not fat. Get over yourself.

There’s is plenty of time to be an adult, be a kid while you can.

No guy will ever replace your dad. Don’t waste your time looking.

You only can see how beautiful a person really is after you get know them.

When you get older, you will still have a thing for Italian guys. And tattoos. And Dic van Dyke.  Some things never change.

You will not still have a thing for Syd Vicious, cherry ices, or jeeps. Many things do change.

Jeep guys suck. Stay away from them.

Never compromise your core values. Not for religion. Not for love. Not for anything.

The big boobs you hate because they get you too much attention will feed four babies. They will also look a lot better after you after put on a few pounds. (In the mean time, minimizer bras are fucking awesome.)

You will never stop feeling like you’re 17.

Compromising isn’t the same as giving in.

I want to tell you not to be afraid to love, but I’m still working on that one. Try, though.

You will be surprised how having children will change you. And how passionately you will love them.

You will not be able to do everything you want in life, but you can do some it. Don’t give up on your dreams.

Keep writing. You’ll get better.

Don’t burn all your journals in some emotional break down. You’ll regret it.

Keep skating. You’ll wish you hadn’t stopped. You’re good at it, moron.

Don’t trust people just because you want to see the good in them. Trust is earned.

Everyone sucks. The ones who own it are the best kind of people. Don’t waste time on the other ones.

Be brave, not stupid. But, if you find yourself on a bad situation, never look scared.

Look everyone in the eye. Especially if they intimidate you.

People will judge you no matter what, so you might as well just be yourself.

Everyone is scared of something. Figure it out, but never use it against them. (Unless you absolutely have to.)

If you learn to understand people, you can figure everything else out pretty easily. Except math. That shit is hard!

Chocolate is what makes your face break out. You’re welcome.

It’s okay if not everyone likes you.

It’s okay if you don’t like everyone.

For the love of God, don’t waste so much time cleaning. Nobody but you cares if they can eat off of your floor.

Your babies will be really shitty sleepers, so enjoy your rest now.

Don’t be afraid of getting older. You’ll look better at 34 than 24.

Enjoy gluten while you still can.

Never count calories. It’s bullshit.

You will spend the first part of your life wishing you were fatter and the second wishing were skinnier. Just be happy with who you are.

Don’t try to pick out friends, just be on the look out for good people you click with and let things grow as they will.

Throwing away your bathroom scale will be one of the best decisions you will ever make.

Wear comfortable shoes. But, not Crocs. Jesus!

Antidepressants don’t make your life better.

Good times rarely last long, so make sure to enjoy them instead worrying about them ending.

Sex doesn’t have to be about love. Love doesn’t have to be about sex. But, it’s definitely better when it is.

Don’t over complicate everything. (You will anyhow.)

There is only one first kiss. It’s always bad. If someone says it wasn’t, they are lying.

You’ll be a better person than you thought you ever could be. And also a lot shittier.

You’ll be surprised how often you will make the same mistakes. Sorry about that.

Don’t try to be happy, just live.

Don’t eat Skittles and Mountain Dew for breakfast. Seriously. Wtf is wrong with you?!

You will always fucking suck at guitar. But you will keep trying for some asinine reason.

You’ll still write a lot of songs which nobody but you will ever hear. It’s not that big of a deal.

Sometimes you will care about everything and sometimes nothing at all. The moments between are the reality.

Occasionally giving up is okay, but not usually.

If something seems too good be true, you probably just haven’t given enough time yet.

Bad habits are hard to break. You’ll develop them anyhow. So, just deal with it.

Everyone will disappoint you sometimes.

You will disappoint everyone sometimes.

You’re not as fucked up as you fear that you might end up,  but definitely not who you wish you were. Just come to terms with it.

Escaping works. Use it cautiously.

Always keep bottled water in the car. You have terrible luck with radiators.

Remember that some kids are just little assholes. But, they might have older asshole siblings. So, watch your mouth.

You will always talk too much, speak too fast, and think far too quickly, no matter how hard you try to slow down for the sake others. And you will always feel impatient about how slow everyone else is.

Newborn babies smell like absolute heaven. Beware. Even looking at them seems to get you knocked up.

Cherish your alone time. You will never have it again without feeling guilty.

Never pretend to be something you’re not, even for a really good reason.

Sometimes your big mouth will get you into trouble. It will also be what keeps you out of it.

Some people will mistake your passion for anger and your straightforwardness for impetuousness. But the important people will understand the difference.

When someone asks you to dance, just say yes. Don’t always be standoffish to nice people.

Hardcore punk guys always like the soft preppy girls. It’s really fucked up, but you get used it.

Never pick a fight if you aren’t ready to kick ass or get your ass kicked. Literally or figuratively.

You’re not going to turn out just like your dad. But, you will always worry about it.

Never do something you don’t want to because you’re to afraid of what will happen if you say no. Saying yes to something you don’t want has worse consequences.

You can only really hate someone who you loved first.

Don’t sell your dirt bike for $40. I know it seems like a lot of money, but it isn’t.

Paint your nails even though they are short. Wear a bathing suit even though you aren’t skinny. Sing along to songs even though you sound like a duck. Have fun!

You will always be really scared of zombies. I don’t know why. But it doesn’t really affect your ability function the real world.

You will always be a night person and nobody will understand, unless they are a night person.

You will always have a bad sense of direction. But there will be something called GPS and it out will keep you from ending up in Dundalk every time you drive.

It’s okay that writing is a selfish pursuit. Do it anyhow.

Don’t assume everyone will hurt you. But don’t assume they won’t.

You can’t let people in without some risk. Some people are worth the risk.

Despite your childhood dreams, you will never actually own a matching set of sheets and pillowcases, no matter how much you want one. It’s not that big of a deal though.

And hey, listen, when you leave envelopes of things for your future self, like some sort time capsule, could you leave some kinda explanation with it? Because I can’t figure out Wtf that green and white striped material is from. So, it’s kinda pointless.

I’m sure I’ll think of many more, but I think that this about covers the big stuff.


3 thoughts on “What I wish I could tell my younger self.

  1. Pingback: Blogmas 2014: The Best of the Rest - All Things Fadra

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